But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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