You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
