K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
