My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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