Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
