marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
