Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
