You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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