just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
