Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
