i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
