I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
