This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
