You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
