I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
