i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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