so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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