i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
