i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
