Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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