soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
