Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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