i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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