Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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