I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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