Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
