fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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