question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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