Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
