So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
