yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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