it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
