He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
