She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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