Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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