she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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