it wasn't lemon gatorade
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
