we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
