PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So many bounce houses so little time
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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