I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
