It's Friday. Sex?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
