Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We have started to decorate penises.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize