i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
