You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
