If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
