The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
