Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
