Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
