I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
