The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
