please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize