I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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