Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We left an ass print on the piano.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Couch. On fire.
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