wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize