also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
