Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize