he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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