I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
