this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
