when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize