haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
