Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
